Emergence

I am moving forward...again.

After two months in limbo over insurance changes, I am now moving towards my new future. I have emerged from a difficult time of waiting. It has been hard. I had to tuck away the dreams of my future while at the mercy of others who would determine my fate. God has been faithful, in spite of my faithlessness.

I guess this serves me by making me realize how much I really do want change in my life to occur. I hope that I am not dreaming needlessly. Perhaps the changes will occur inside of me more than on my outside!

It amazes me how much a person has to be their own healthcare system advocate in a country that purports to be so on top of everything. I have dealt with people who could not answer my questions -- or would not answer them. I felt at times like I was foraging ahead in darkness, my speed dictated by the temperment of the person who answered the phone. I will no longer ruminate on the past. That is done. The future is ahead.

I will embrace it with every ounce of my being.

JUNE 5, 2007

The wait is over. Finally. Surgery will be on Tuesday June 5th.

Lots to philosophise about with this whole waiting concept. What good came? What bad came? Was it easy (He## no!). Did I crumble under pressure? A couple of times.

More to come.