WAAAIIIITTT! Wait!

I received a call from my surgeon's office last Friday. Apparently, the bottom line is I'm "too insured!" I have HealthNet HMO through my job and my husband has Blue Cross PPO through his job. I am covered on his policy in addition to mine. My HealthNet medical group is Brown & Toland. The bariatric surgeon I want (Dr. Wetter) is in the Mills Peninsula Medical Group of HealthNet. My husband's insurance, being a PPO, allows me to go to whomever accepts Blue Cross PPO (and Dr. Wetter does).

The problem is, BCPPO is not "my" primary insurance. My primary insurance is HealthNet HMO. So BCPPO is requiring a denial letter from HealthNet before they'll agree to pay for Dr. Wetter.





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I've had to request that my primary care physician (Dr. Yan) send HealthNet a request for me to see Dr. Wetter -- retroactive to January.

Which brings me to my topic: waiting

It is really frustrating to have finally made the decision and plans to have this surgery, been given an actual surgery date, and then to be told "oops! we didn't realize that HealthNet was your primary and Blue Cross was only your secondary insurance." I guess I should be happy to find that out BEFORE surgery, otherwise I could have been faced with hospital bill in the tens of thousands of dollars.

I dream about who I will be when I emerge from the body that I've inhabited for so many years now. I am like a bride anticipating the goodness that lies ahead for her. Perhaps this delay is to increase my hunger for the good things; to serve as a memory for inspiration for when things get tough and I find myself wanting to give up years from now. Things always seem to have more value when you've had to wait for them, or had to earn them.

Somehow, the concept of waiting conjures up an image of standing still, anticipating that the desired thing will come to me. Instead, perhaps the waiting is a "pressing on," moving forward toward the goal I so desire. When one presses the button and waits, there is action: the pressing. Something is going to result from the action of pressing the button; and that "something" would not start to happen unless that button was first pressed.

So while insurance company employees battle it out over who will have the privilege of escorting me into the beginning of my new life, I will press forward and wait. That which I desire, exists in the continuum of time; we are moving towards one another. God's timing is perfect. One doesn't know the disasters averted that will occur on March 14th; a slipped scalpel, a drowsy surgeon?

I will follow in the spirit, where the Spirit leads. I will not give up hope. I will not lose courage. Climbing up out of a mire requires strength and constant determination. Perhaps it will be the same strength and determination that will allow me to keep the goal once I reach it.




Peace.